y do ppl trust?? n gt hurt in the process?? onli to realise tt u shld b alone rite frm the beginning??
y do ppl care for each other?? hoping tt the other party treats u as a fren.. onli to realise tt when u nid some1, there's no1 who can listen to u?? n the person may nt even treat u as a fren?? mabbe u're juz 'his gal'..
y do ppl fall in luv, onli to gt hurt in the process?? to b tgt for so long, onli to realise tt u're hurting each other in the process??

i put in feelings, to mk an effort to b there for my fren.. onli to realise tt at the end of the day.. i dun even noe whether i'm considered a fren to tt person.. i care n mk an effort to b there for my frens.. when they're down, i wana listen.. i wana tok to them.. to mk sure i help them out of the bad times.. but wat happens when i nid help?? m i fated to onli stay in my room n cry?? is tt my fate??

i'm not convinced!!! i dun understand y izit so? tt when i juz wana find some1 to b there for me, i dun c anyone ard me?? tt when i juz wana look for a listening ear, i cant find any1??

i dun trust in the past.. but i changed.. aft i go JC.. my frens in JC mk me believe tt they're alwiz there for me.. n i start to believe tt i'm being treated as a fren.. a person they can confide in, n a person who will confide in them..
n i begin to learn to trust.. i begin to help others.. i begin looking for my soulmate.. n i oso begin to look for some 1 i can share my life wif..
buti realised tt tts not the case.. juz cuz u tot tts the way it shld b dun mean tt others tink the same way..

cerise.. i miss u.. reali feel lyk toking to u.. cuz somehow i feel, onli u'll understand how i feel.. cuz i believe, u n i tink alike..
n i hope my belief is right.. cuz i'm oredi covered with wounds.. i cant tk another injury..
even when i'm hurt thoroughly.. i stil believe.. i've frens ard me.. loo, irene, cerise, jy.. is tis called unrepentant??
mabbe, mabbe not.. if they're truly ppl hu will stand beside me when i'm down, den i'm not being unrepentant..
unless they're not.. but i stil believe they r.. my true frens.. hu will alwiz b there for me..

i feel lyk ruby.. when she was in sec 1.. n i tink.. i'm the type who's juz lyk her.. the tings i wil do when i'm down, when i'm stressed..
those tots flahed tru my mind.. but til now.. i will stil luv myself.. for my parents..
when 1 day when all left me.. i will do wat she did..

feeling so bitchy now.. so wat if the blog seems bimbo-ish?? wats so bad abt bimbos?? at least guys luv them.. rite now, i'd gif anithing to go out n club, flirt wif the guys.. haha isn't tt nice?? to forget abt my identity for juz 1 nite.. to put away everything on my mind?? to forget abt everything.. juz for tt moment...

i needa feel numb.. to feel hurt no more.. to tear no more..
some1 teach me how??

to the some 1 i sounded super harsh to.. sry.. i din mean it.. feeling super down..
to jiahui: thx for meeting me when i called.. luckily i found u.. else tink i'll go crazy tinking abt everything up there on my brains.. wif no1 to distract me away frm those tots.. haix but dun ask can? thx..

i juz wan some1 to b wif me.. izit veh difficult??

+ [A]nGe| @ 22:14